Difficult decisions

[ikon]

I'm a little bummed out as I had to turn down an invitation to a going away party for a family member who's leaving for 9 months for a job out of country. This party promised to be alot of fun and I would see many familiar faces there. It is being held in a tavern/ club and I just don't feel strong enough to attend.

The invitation arrived and there was a drawing of booze bottles and food, entertainment provided by the guest of honor herself who I'm close too and this will be a younger crowd so it probably would be pretty rowdy. Just the same I spent all day thinking of a kind way to decline and not feel guilty about disappointing anyone.

There would have been alot of questions I don't feel like answering and all the drinking around me would have been difficult to deal with. Anyway I turned it down.

[drpearlman]

ikon, thank you for your post. The issue of considering attending social social events is certainly an important one. The key consideration is knowing that with more time and recovery, you'll be able to make decisions based upon what's going to be the most enjoyable activity for you at the outset.
Perhaps, in the early stages of recovery, it might be best to err on the side of caution rather than deal with the inherent risks of drinking. However, at some point, you want to be able to choose social events that will give you the most joy and and gratification, whether or not there is drinking present. Initially, at the outset of your recovery you probably do want to trust your own gut instinct and decide whether or not it's a safe environment to be present around alcohol.

I remember one of the earliest parties I hosted and served alcohol. Because I was very anxious, prior to that party I sought out the help of friends in my recovery program. They were gracious enough to join me for the party - and with them I was able to keep my spirits up and my focus on sobriety - and have a good time in enjoying and taking care of my guests.

The point here is that although there is some discomfort and anxiety about drinking - it so very important to develop some clarity as to what's the best path to protect yourself as you address the fears and doubts of your early recovery. And you will over time, develop more and more capacity and insight as to how you would like things to be. A wonderful definition of being true to yourself is - telling yourself the truth about what you want and what you don't want.

[flygirl]

I love the suggestion of bringing someone along with you for support. I wish you the best of Luck in your recovery. I have not had a beer for 10 months, I will never drink beer again.