Sep 26 2008
Encouraging Yourself To Remain Sober
When you reach the point in your recovery where you dare step out and once again experience life, you should not forget to give yourself the encouragement you require to continue moving forward. Sometimes early in recovery we are so caught up in avoiding alcohol and that which makes us drink that we forget that we’ve done a pretty good job to get to this point in our sobriety.
It may be a rare occurrence to receive a pat on the back from those close to us, at least in the early phase of our healing, since they are also finding their own way back to normality. They may also be wrestling with forgiveness if they feel hurt or hardened because of your alcoholism. This is understandable; a recovering alcoholic must rely on their own devices and inner strength to get them over the tough bits in the beginning.
The truth is that many people still have a bitter understanding of alcoholism and believe alcoholics do this to themselves because of weakness and loss of control. This means that empathy is in very short supply from many non-professionals, especially early on. Even some professionals display a jaded callousness toward some recovering alcoholics, particularly those who relapse.
All this adds up to the fact when you decide it’s time to get treated for your alcohol problem you must be mentally prepared to go it alone and accept the assistance and sincere compassion from others whenever you can get it. When it is offered, don’t abuse it – cherish it and accept it with humility but continue to stubbornly grasp your inner fortitude and push through whatever confronts you.
When you experience a “win” congratulate yourself! Perhaps you just made it through a difficult twenty-four hour period when you once required copious amounts of alcohol to get by. That only you recognized the significance of this victory should come as no surprise. When you stare down the devil and win, you deserve a reward for your discipline and self-restraint so why not do something nice for yourself?
Take a walk somewhere peaceful where you’ve found comfort in the past. Take an afternoon off and be good to yourself by sitting in a lawn chair and listening to the birds sing while you contemplate a future free from the burden of alcohol abuse. Pour yourself a cup of coffee and listen to a ball game on the radio while mindlessly unwinding and relaxing with a loved one. Practice deep breathing and meditating about what your sober future will hold for you.
The point is to do something for you. Be good to yourself during your recovery and speak encouragingly to yourself boosting your self-esteem without feeding your old egotistical self in the process. As you begin to display signs of change, those close to you will begin noticing a difference in your persona and thus will open the door to honest discussion and eventual forgiveness if necessary.
No one is perfect and the relapse statistics bear this truth out when it comes to alcoholism. Early recovery is tough and discouraging days can unfortunately be frequent, so it is critical to be on top of your feelings and to recognize when you may be too difficult on yourself for emotional frailties that overwhelm you and distract you from your sober goal. No one said it would be easy and it isn’t, but finding a balance in recovery is as important as balance in your life overall.
A recovering alcohol must learn to be delicately sensitive of their sobriety and protect it ferociously and at all costs. This may seem like selfish behavior but think of the consequences. You are responsible for your own recovery and sobriety and it should come as no surprise to anyone when you act in defense of it. Soon it will become second nature to place your sobriety first, the rewards for doing so will be automatic, and unanticipated, derived from living a different life free from alcohol dependence and the guilt and shame associated with it.
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Your points are well taken. Alcoholics often beat themselves up emotionally and have a problem with self-respect. Alcohol recovery is a success story that is worthy of some positive strokes, even if they come from the recovering alcoholic himself or herself.