Aug 14 2008
What The Serenity Prayer Means To An Alcoholic
A Recovery Prayer Analyzed
Most alcoholics first hear the serenity prayer at their initial 12-step meeting. As the meeting ends, all gathered stand and hold hands saying aloud the serenity prayer and then raising their clasped hands bellow “keep coming back!” It’s as if they are aware that some may be attending their last meeting so they are reaffirming to the weak that there is strength in their numbers.
The prayer itself is simple enough to remember and yet carries unusually strong meaning to every alcoholic in the room. The beauty of the Serenity Prayer is in its uncomplicated message of hope, peace, fearlessness and insight. All things a recovering alcoholic strives for in building a new life without addiction to alcohol.
“God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The Things We Cannot Change”
As alcoholics, we realize we face a lifelong battle against the bottle. Even when we are finally sober, we are just one drink away from being that drunk that we despise and who is impossible to control. We will always be an alcoholic, albeit a recovering one, but an alcoholic nonetheless. A fact we can’t change, couldn’t change it regardless of how much money we have, whatever our status is in life, whoever are friends happen to be, we are still going to be an alcoholic. This is something we must accept early on in our sobriety.
So we pray for the serenity to accept this unwanted designation in life and move forward with a quiet calmness that only our acknowledgement can bring us. We tend to be hard on ourselves in early recovery especially so learning to accept whom we are now, where we are at in our life and how we got to this place is critical to our healing. We must tell ourselves “alright, I did this to myself, it stole a piece of me I never intended on losing, and now I need to get over it and not look back”. A tall order indeed but when we accept who we are we can forgive our self and get on with our lives
“The Courage To Change The Things We Can”
Realizing we have a problem with alcohol is one thing, finding the courage to do something about it is quite another. Understanding that we really can change the way we are living and take back control of our lives seems like an impossibility at the hour of our reckoning with alcohol. There is a point in our realization where we have a decision to make that will have a dramatic and overwhelming affect on us. Should we seek treatment? Does a problem exist with my drinking? If it’s obvious to others and outside assistance intervenes on our behalf, we have little choice but to summon the courage to take the steps to healing we so desperately need.
If the problem is more subtle and we are forced to make the decision on our own, again courage is required to help us make the changes we know we can make if we have the fortitude to take the necessary steps to get help. This kind of courage is rare among alcoholics and problem drinkers since so many active alcoholics exist who do not take the road of courage, but instead hide behind their denial and waste even more time abusing alcohol. We can change the way things are right now if we only have the courage to make the right choices.
“And The Wisdom To Know The Difference”
Having the wisdom to understand when change is feasible and when it is not is important - being able to use your judgment and do something about it is a gift. From a recovering alcoholic’s perspective, once cognitive senses return and we begin the journey of acceptance, wisdom is something that we attain based on experiences we have endured. We now give second thought to situations where before when drinking we recklessly made decisions that affected us and those close to us. We have changed; those close to us have likely changed based on their familiarity with our situation. We need to understand these changes and be wise enough to accept the results of our past and learn to adjust to the new realities.
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