Jun 12 2008
Silencing The Alcoholic Mind
The alcoholic brain is an active brain. Your mind is always racing with thought, not all of which is pertinent in any way, some significant and some of it plainly bordering on insanity. Even after you quit drinking alcohol, this active mind is a real problem for the recovering alcoholic. It is literally why many may have start drinking in the first place.
We take a drink and the alcoholic mind decides that this is just what it needed to relieve the pressure, the stress of the moment. The warmth of that drink and the way it makes you feel is exactly what you were looking for. The alcohol numbs your mind. You love the way it makes you feel. It effectively shuts off the worry and stress tap that is pushing information vigorously through your head.
Alcohol is a way to escape from the reality of the moment – that time when you are being overloaded with thoughts and stressors, invading your mind and causing you to think about those things that you believe may be significant, but are in fact heightened in their true importance. You may believe alcohol makes things easier to handle because they just don’t matter as much when you drink. The magnitude of your thoughts, concerns, feelings and beliefs diminishes with each sip of your drink.Herein lays the problem of silencing the alcoholic mind. When you no longer have alcohol to anesthetize yourself, you are healing your physical body at the expense of your mind. As strong as that sounds, it’s true in the sense you still have all of your external day to day stressors that make you want to raise a glass and drink them away – but now you are trying to live sober.
You can’t depend on alcohol any longer to calm your thoughts and relieve your mind of the constant stream of commands, suggestions, ideas and conjecture that overwhelm your thinking. Sleep may become a challenge and when it finally arrives, it’s at best intermittent. Where you once would sleep in an alcohol induced unconsciousness, you may now suffer insomnia and a racing mind.
While you consider and may even take an OTC sleep medication to mute the traffic in your brain, it is simply replacing the old demon with something new.
What you really need is a way to turn down the volume of your left brain hemisphere. In narrow terms, that part of your brain that makes sure you remember where you put the car keys, reminds you to get your car serviced and runs your to do list through your mind for the fiftieth time. Silencing your mind is learning to control your left brain hemisphere.
A recovering alcoholic must learn to nullify the unimportant thoughts and shelve those thoughts that are important for another time. These things that infringe on your positive conscious and even unconscious thinking need to be tamed. One way to accomplish this is with meditation. Relaxation techniques prove to be quite beneficial at calming the mind, allowing the clarity to think positively rather than dramatically.
Understand the world won’t stop spinning if you fail to remember to get an oil change or you replay your anger at the kid who delivers your paper under the neighbor’s car rather than in your mailbox. These simple thoughts clutter your mind, and when you combine them with the more complex issues of day to day life like paying a mortgage, remaining employed and maintaining relationships, soon nothing gets resolved.
When confronted with those same issues that would previously make you reach for a drink, you can now replace the alcohol with relaxation techniques and tools to soothe your mind. Ego-driven concerns, an over inflated sense of self can mean a measure of self destructive selfishness controls your thinking that can exaggerate not only your own importance but the weight of the issues you are struggling with. The ones that make you drink.
Balance – like walking and chewing gum at the same time – quiets your ego and calling on these new skills to develop an equal stability between your left and right brain will stimulate more of what you require for personal well-being and is a big step in achieving deep inner peace.
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I am so glad I found this blog. I have a drinking problem that is causing me to self destruct and to make a fool of myself but if I do not drinking I cant sleep. It is exactly like you described it racing thought and a night of tossing , turning and frustration. How long does the insomnia stage last?
Hello Tryingtobesober:
If you are currently not drinking, your active mind will certainly keep you awake but there are some things you can do to alleviate the problem. One of the things that worked for me was deeeep Breathing and total relaxation. Tell yourself that nothing is so important that it should interfere with your rest. Try and shelve ALL your issues (they’ll still be there to work on when you wake up refreshed).
If you are spiritual you may want to try praying/ talking to your higher power and asking for help. Believe it or not, counting your blessings just like you would count sheep worked quite well for me. Mainly the relaxation and deep breathing will do the trick if you keep t it.
This active mind phase will pass. The longer you are in recovery the easy it will get.
If you are still drinking and sleep is difficult, you need to work on sobriety. My experience was the alcohol made quality sleep impossible and in fact added significantly to my erratic behavior. When you wake up you find yourself in the earliest stages of withdrawal from the alcohol that you consumed to get to sleep…a viscous cycle develops that you want to avoid at all costs. Keep coming back and Good Luck!
TryingtobeSober its great to have you here.
The insomnia stage is certainly a difficult time in every persons recovery process and it does go away with time in most cases.
Insomnia is one of the problems seen in stopping drinking abruptly and then there is also a more serious risk of a seizure due to alcohol withdrawal – which is something to be prevented.
If you suspect you are a heavy drinker you should ideally consult a physician before abruptly stopping alcohol consumption.
If you are simply looking for ways to quiet your mind and allow you to sleep you might try yoga, meditation, or over the counter medication.
Finally, the sleeplessness does usually go away with time. Please remember to be patient with yourself and don’t become alarmed. Your body is healing and the sleep pattern will be restored.
This blog is wonderful and I thank you Dr. Pearlman for posting this. This is the 1st real blog I have found that really summed up how I felt to almost a T. It was so closely related to how I felt and still feel that I forwarded this link to my loved ones. Being in recovery now for going on 4 yrs, I still find everyday living to be SO very difficult. Sleep is the very 1st thing that goes as soon as the stress of life begins to downward spiral. I have used over the counter med’s but, have made the choice that for long term answers that this could end up being more harmful than good. The very LAST thing I want to do is swap one addiction for another. I try to explain how I feel to others but the frustration of trying to get someone who has the proverbial ‘checks and balances’ of their everyday life in how they deal with stress is very difficult for them to understand – if not impossible. The real problem in recovery is, getting sober is relatively easy (if you WANT to be sober), and staying sober is SO very difficult. It is still a constant struggle for me to not allow my emotions to take hold of my thinking, because I know where that path goes, I’ve walked it already. I am looking forward to learning more about the “FreedomFromAlcohol Method”.
Thanks Again
Thank you for your comment. It is said that the mind is a wonderful servant but a cruel master. Quieting the ‘cruel’ mind after a long period of our inflaming it with the corrosive effects of alcohol and neglect leaves us with a difficult challenge.
My path was to chase the program of Alcoholics Anonymous where I, gratefully with much eagerness, went to almost daily meetings for the first several years of sobriety. I was impelled by the distress I felt at my mind, my ‘cruel master’, and how awful and fearful I felt by it’s relentlessness to intrude into almost every waking moment of my life. Happily, I always felt a sense of peace, calm and rationality at my meetings and through the many and frequent calls I made to others in the AA program. At the beginning period I would make as much as 13 calls a day to different AA members and engaged in a dialogue with them that invariably served to calm me and begin the task of managing my troubled mind.
I also eagerly spoke up at every chance at every AA meeting I attended. I found the desire to share the workings of my mind at these meetings relived me greatly. The sharing of my thoughts also gave me a chance to observe, as I shared, what I was really thinking. The ‘airing’ of these thoughts revealed the true nature of my mind and by exposing them to the ‘light’ of the meeting tended to ‘heal’ them. The burden I carried of my sick and cruel mind lessened over time. The sharing of my thoughts also seemed to help others in the meeting who identified and laughed along with me at the ridiculousness of my ‘thoughts’ and patterns of behavior.
Today, I have a daily discipline of meditation, reading sections from spiritual books and very importantly, to me, keeping what I call a ‘Focus Journal’ to help me craft my path in life. I am willing to write down and edit as I gain daily clarity as to what I am wanting and what I am not wanting in my life. Thus I feel a sense of alignment more and more often as my ‘inner knowing’ (my spiritual and personal goals) and my outer actions become congruent – and my mind is returned to me as my servant not a cruel master.
Again, thank you for your comments and my very best wishes to you on your path. Dr. Pearlman
I would like to start off by saying, thank you!! This site is amazing I really love how you have described my life almost exactly. I am not quite at the recovery point yet. I realized last year that I had a drinking problem. My friends noticed it actually. I am 18 and drank everyday since 6th grade. On average when I’m not partying, I have 18 shots a day. It starts in the mooring when I get up and straight till I go to sleep (most nights I drink myself to sleep).
Seeing as how I am only 18 I feel like I cant get professional help, my parents would kill me and I just don’t want them to know. I’ve managed to hide it all this time I’m not going to stop now. that being said, I would love to be sober. I tried stopping all together but I started experiencing massive withdrawal symptoms and decided it isn’t worth it.
If you could give me some advice on how to do this alone that would be much appreciated.
Thanks.
‘Rathernotsay’, thank you for your honesty – thank you for sharing your situation. The word that comes to my mind is – ’surrender’. You have a choice here – either your better nature takes over and you seek help because you can no longer continue on your path – we call that in recovery circles as ‘being tired of being sick and tired’ – or your life is irrevocably impaired. If you are there in the grace of surrender, and I truly hope you are, then you will take the leap to recovery and freedom from the bondage of your alcohol obsession, which is making your life a dead thing’!
Here, you will seek whatever help you can; tell your parents – yes, tell them your truth, ask for their help, go to AA meetings, ask for guidance, sponsors, etc., go to your doctor ASAP, go to an alcohol treatment center in your area or perhaps to a local emergency room and ask for help as you do not want to have seizures or to die from this disease. Of course, at a minimum, keep asking your higher power for guidance – such as you have asked here at this blog.
The decision is yours. I was lucky in having a family intervention because I was not ready on my own or perhaps I was so sick I could not help myself.
Please know that help and the path to health, happiness, joy, freedom and a wonderful life are within your grasp. Just like the Tom Hanks’ movie ‘Joe Versus the Volcano’ – in the movie he was suffering from ‘terminal brain cloud’ – similarly, you are suffering from the terminal disease of alcoholism – and the leap to freedom is the one that you and you alone must make. Do it! Do it now! All of the universe awaits your leap to freedom – just ‘ask and you shall receive’!
All my good wishes go with you. Michael
The early sobriety, anxiety, racing thoughts, insomnia are a pathway to drinking again every time for me. I have tried everything suggested that is supposed to help, some relief but never enough. Prescription meds help some but have scary side effects, and addiction to these is horrific re: benzos, which I find make you crave alcohol, though they do wonders for anxiety, anti-depressants worsen anxiety in my case, and though they say they are not addicting the withdrawals are a nightmare. Alcohol withdrawal is a picnic compared to some of these medications. Most make you a fat, pre-diabetic anxious mess and docs just want to keep adding adjuncts – and before you know it your taking three of four different useless meds and you fell like dirt. I have never found these medications to improve the situation in anyone’s life, never! It is a revolving door of different meds, some of which help a little and some that do nothing, with most having side effects that are worse than the original problem, so my quest continues , two months sober this time, I’ve had a year, 3 years , 4 months and on and on the anxiety gets me every time, but trying to keep the faith….
’scotch’, you are not alone. Your key statement is, ‘to keep the faith’! There are three components to recovery as well as much of life: body, mind and spirit. All three need balance and a focus.
In the best of all possible worlds, the doctors treating alcoholism are informed by the latest in alcohol treatment of withdrawal and residual issues of anxiety and depression and offer optimal guidance in their understanding of a patient’s situation, condition and prescribing options. So, assuming only so-so medical management you do need to have some additional mental and spiritual tools to guide you.
Of course the fellowship of A.A. works wonders for those so inclined to benefit from the fellowship and principles of their meetings. I found them to be of enormous support during my early days and years of recovery – to set up the learning and understanding of my ‘disease’ and offer a path to wholeness, i.e. recovery. Further, if A.A. is palatable for you, the program is a great springboard to a ’spiritual’ path. Otherwise there are so many other options to set up a daily spiritual connection.
If the idea of ’spirituality’ is off putting, consider the idea of becoming more conscious of your vision, purpose, mission and goals in life and set up daily rituals to clarify and realize these desires.
With my warmest best wishes, Michael
im 50 , i have been drinking since i was 13, i just got another d u i , its been 12 years since the last one , thank god , this will count as a fisrt offense.reading your description of the progressive stages fits me to a tee, like many of the other responses stated. it has not only beat me ,almost to death, but cost me my wife and kids and family. i am on the verge of being homeless because of it , i am living with an angel now, my jail time will be coming all to soon and not looking forward to it, i feel like i am a good guy like im sure everybody else feels, i have wrecked too many cars to count ,but thanklfuly never hurt anyone but myself. corection,it has affectd everybody in my life in one way or another, i wish i could go back 40 years with what i think i know now and start over, what im am hoping to do is ,first get control of my life and then help some of the younger people avoid a life of of ,shoulda,coulda,woulda.
just wanted to say thanks Mike. I am 23 years old with similar situations, finally wanting and working towards sobriety. You truly are a big help. Appreciate your angle.
Thank you for this blog,I like the way you explain such things like that and i’m sure many will helped by your post. I’ve learned a lot. Looking forward to your next post.
-mj-
Dr. Pearlman, I wonder if you might discuss switching additions. The alcoholic mind cannot deal with life; once alcohol is removed, other addictions flare to fill the void. Despite AA and counseling, my alcoholic husband–now sober for almost 2 years–has switched to compulsive over-exercising, overeating/overdieting (starving all day, then pigging out), and is also switched to sex addiction. He is addicted to movement/agitation; if he is still the TV must be on, at the very least. He tries meditation, but too infrequently to help much. He does not know how to be still, how to simply BE…
My friend is an alcoholic, he always tell me if he is drinking beer or brandy he is very active and mentally alert and he feels good he never sick. But once he didn’t drink alcoholic beverages he is always sick. He treated alcohol as a vitamins and medicine.
-jomie-
Thank you, carribeanblue – the picture you describe of your husband is a classic example of the ‘alcoholic mind’ – with its obsessional nature. This is why meaningful involvement in the Steps of AA is an essential tool for recovery. Without the spiritual, consciousness raising or purpose driven part of recovery, we have essentially an alcoholic who does not drink.
Another point is that the ego is the ‘alcoholic’ and it is restoring the ‘Soul’ that the work of recovery is done. Restoring balance is a key feature of those who work their program – or use other resources such as coaching, therapy or return to religious or spiritual practices.
Finally – it may a wise decision to work with a prescribing psychiatrist who could diagnose, your husband – prescribe the correct medications and perhaps you could participate with this treatment to see that medications are correctly taken. Best wishes with your husband. I would love to hear how it is going.
I just recently separated with my husband. We fought day and nite. If I didn’t start he did. I reacted in every bad way possible. Took my disgust and anger and made myself feel better by hurting him verbally and now he resents me. We love eachother very much but it became too toxic. I feel so much better with out him physicaly here. It wasn’t a marriage anymore. Is it normal for him to be away while he recovers? I’m starting alanon and meetings with a therapist for my emotional and anger issues. He is working on his. I fear I will be ten steps ahead of him…I love him so. Is this normal?
this may be a dumb question but i started drinking about 3 years ago and when i first started i immediatley loved it but had it way under control. im talkin about likea 6 pack of beer every fri night or everyother fri night or sat. that went on for a year then i started to drink more heavily on the weekends more like a 12 pack on fri and maybe like a 6er on sat night just hangin out but still had it under control could still function very well and go to work and do good there and sometimes i would even drink some on a monday or a wed. i mean i could get drunk on a mon and easily get up for work on a tue morning and feel fine and that went on for a while but then my tollerance just skyrocketed and i started drinkin all the time (last winter) and could still function normal when i wasnt but all the sudden it started catching up to me. i remember one night i got really drunk and woke up one morning for work and i had a hangover like i never had i mean i couldnt think straight and i had anxiety really bad so i told myself that aint right i gotta cut back so i did i only drink like once a weekend but for some odd reason i still had anxiety during the week and all i thought about was drinkin from the time i woke up till the time i went to bed and it was weird cause i only drink once a week and it was like i was havien withdraws all weeek from just that one time. so then after 3months of that i finally said screw it and started drinkin heavely about 3 to 4 days out of the week and still have insomnia and aanxiety. so i finally said im done been quit now for 2 weeeks am i an alcholic even though i could only drink once a week?
My alcoholism took me to the jumping off point (suicide) I failed duh I’m writing this, but my mom did kill herself as a result of alcoholism. Tomarrow ill have been sober 2 years thanks to aa but I still cannot stop the insaine thoughts of suicide. I’m sober and have worked the 12 steps with a sponcer but I’m the reason I drank and I’m still here and I can only stop the insaine thinging for moments at a time. I don’t know if I should be locked away, take my life, get drunk or just keep doin what everybody else wants me to do?
[...] an article called Silencing the Alcoholic Mind, Dr. Michael Pearlman says this; “Alcohol is a way to escape from the reality of the moment [...]