Feb 15 2008
Hiding Your Alcohol? – Your Plunge is Beginning
If you are a problem drinker now, more than likely the near future will find you starting to hide your bottles of alcohol. There are probably many reasons why excessive drinkers do this, but one of the main reasons is likely to be “escape”. If you are still denying you have a problem in the deep hours of the night when you reach behind your office bookcase for your bottle of scotch, take a moment and think about what you are doing.
You can’t comfortably go into your liquor cabinet or cupboard to pour yourself a fifth drink of the day, because that ship sailed hours ago after your wife nagged you about having your third drink. At this rate you’ll be maintaining two liquor supply stores in your home, one for show and one for real. The insanity of it all is quite remarkable, but you still think you don’t have a problem with drinking! The guy down the street who mows his lawn with his college era double barreled beer drinking hat on complete with plastic tubing straws – now he has a problem! You are perfectly civilized when in public and always make a point of being so.
No, you keep your alcohol hidden because you:
• Made a promise to cut back on your consumption of alcohol.
• Are tired of getting lectured about your drinking habits.
• Just need a nip now and then to maintain normalcy and don’t want to raise any flags.
• Just can’t help it. You need to be able to drink whenever it’s necessary, and you have to know its there for you “in case” you need it.
Whatever your reason is for hiding your alcohol, it’s a danger signal of the highest caliber. The path you’ve chosen is slippery and you are about to find yourself in the fifth level of hell if you don’t get help soon. I know this because I’ve been there and “there” is a place I would not wish upon my worst enemy.
You’ve heard talk of alcoholism being a progressive disease? Hiding your alcohol is when the virus mutates. This is where if you thought you may have some issues with alcohol, well… the gloves are off now.
There’s a certain thrill of knowing you are getting away with something, that you have a secret weapon now against all things stressful and hectic in your life. Fight with your spouse? Go to the sewing room and reach under the pile of fabric that hasn’t been touched for years and now hides your fifth of vodka. Maybe you just got a layoff notice at work and you head straight for your garage or workshop where you hide your bottle of bourbon for emergencies like this.
Hiding your alcohol is a metaphor for giving up. When the daily grind becomes too much to handle, your hidden alcohol becomes your best friend in the world. It’s always there for you and always makes you feel better, giving you a different perspective on things. But like some friendships, this one will turn ugly. Your “friend” will eventually hold a Svengali like grip on you that turns you into someone unrecognizable to those around you.
It’s a recipe for disaster because no matter how smart and stealthy you think you are, the truth will eventually emerge that you are a “closet” drinker and in real trouble. Maybe your kids will find your stash or your spouse will. However your secret is divulged, it will be embarrassing and life altering; it will have a shattering effect on you and your family. It may not even end with you getting found out. Alcoholics – you are graduating from a problem drinker – are very persuasive with their arguments and persistent with their denial.
There is hope, you can nip this in the bud if you have a shred of cognizant thought left to draw on.
When you are at the point where you say to yourself “I may really have a problem here, what I’m doing here is wrong,” put aside all your pride, collect every bit of humility you can muster and make that phone call for help. You need someone to lend you a hand now and everyone needs help sometime in their life; your time is now and there are people who are trained to understand and assist you. They do not pass judgment, many have been exactly where you are now. Help is immediate and options will be presented. You are no longer alone and peace will settle in where anger, worry and stress once thrived.
Asking for help at a time like this is most definitely not a sign of weakness. You are drawing on the last bit of strength and courage you have to save your life. You will look back at this day as the most important benchmark in your life.
‘There comes at point when the suffering of the alcoholic can no longer be borne – at that time he or she may ready to surrender and only then can effective intervention or help prove effective. There are many who will stay with the suffering alcoholic until the end – either in death or surrender. The suffering of the alcoholic ‘passes all understanding’ and I have observed that that moment of readiness to surrender is a gift of the Divine – I see no other rational explanation. Michael Pearlman, M.D.
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