Oct 26 2007
Carol’s Drinking Story – Part 1
Carol was a normal 47 year old woman with a husband, two pre teen kids, a home and job she enjoyed. She was living what by all appearances was a normal life. To everyone but those closest to her she seemed to have an enviable lifestyle. However Carol had a destructive secret that was slowly killing her and destroying everything she had. Carol had developed into a full blown alcoholic.
For years she enjoyed socializing and her drinking did not seem out of the ordinary. She was able to work at a job she had since leaving school over 25 years earlier and her employer was also a friend. Carol was born into a loving family and was still close to all four of her siblings and lived within a half hour of all of them. They spent a good deal of time together.
Carol’s drinking problem developed rather quickly after her last child was born eight years ago. It started with weekend binges and parties with family and friends and in between during the week she continued to have a drink or two in the evenings. These mid week drinks became more common and frequent. Carols family unanimously disliked her husband because over the years he began treating her poorly. Verbal abuse was rampant and he was spending much more time at work lately accepting overtime and out of town jobs.
This left Carol alone with her children more often and up to her own devices. She began to drink more and keep it hidden from her husband. It was easier for Carol to imbibe because her husband was rarely without a glass or bottle in his hand while at home. She kept pace with him.
One day Carols only Sister Trish showed up unannounced and found her passed out cold on the sofa while her kids played outside. They lived in the country so there was little fear of her children being harmed in any way but their mother was not in a position to be there for them if something happened. This worried Trish deeply who shook her sister awake and realized she was so out of it she would need to spend the night with her and her kids.
While Carol slept it off Trish was on the phone with her mother and three brothers telling them hat she witnessed and how the kids told her that “mum always sleeps like this after she drinks alot”. Each sibling spoke to Carol over the next few days separately about her drinking and Brenda denied having a problem. When they spoke about it with her husband he told them to mind their own business and he would look after her. This proclamation by hubby didn’t give them any optimism at all so they just got on with their lives with an eye on their sister.
Carol was starting to screw up at work and her boss contacted Carols husband and asked if he knew she was drinking heavily. He had caught her drinking at her desk one day when he appeared unexpectedly. He was very concerned about her and what should they do about it? Again her husband said he would look after it and things would be OK. Everyone was now on notice by Carol’s husband that he had everything under control. He didn’t and it only started getting worse.
Carols employer put her on notice after finding a bottle in her desk that she should not report back to work until she was clean and sober. She was put on leave and disability. Her doctor became involved but threw up his hands in frustration when Carol appeared for appointments intoxicated. She had lost so much weight she appeared anorexic and was now drinking at least a fifth of rum a day.
She would still drive her kids where they needed to go because in the country you drive your kids to everything or they don’t attend anything. One day she drove her kids while drunk to Trish’s house for an overnight birthday party with cousins. Trish could smell the alcohol fumes on her and lost it wither in front of their kids which she regretted. Carol stormed out and a few hours later showed up at her mother’s apartment so drunk she fell on the floor when she came inside and passed out.
Her mother put a blanket over her and made her comfortable. Calling her husband mother told him Carol would be spending the night at her apartment because she wasn’t feeling well and would not be able to drive home. Carols husband called his own father and they made arrangements to have Carol admitted to an in-house treatment facility that only looked after alcoholic women.
Fast forwarding 6 months and nearing the completion of her second term at the women’s rehab center Carol was becoming aware of the fact that she would kill herself or someone else if she didn’t regain control of her life. She was afraid of failing her family again. She talked a good game with her siblings when they called her but they were skeptical about her chances of staying sober. They were used to the disappointment of her slips and relapses into drunken oblivion for weeks and months at a time.
Something needed to be done and they did not know where to turn so they began speaking with who ever would listen about the destructive path their sister was on and how they were fed up with it. It was suggested by an in-law that the whole family speak with his bother, a mutual old friend they all had grown up with who was a recovering alcoholic who could give them insight into her disease and behavior and help them formulate a plan.
The friend was happy to help as he was the same age as Carol and remembered her well. He also new how serious her problem was and felt that there was only one way to get her to see the insanity that had consumed her life. She must be shocked into realizing her situation was grave and that there would no longer be an entire family of enablers ready to bail her out of trouble when she drank. Everyone would be on board and they would confront her with ultimatums the day she left rehab.
That was in 5 days and there was much to do between now and then. Carols life depended on this intervention and she hadn’t had a drink in 30 days. Would everyone who loved her be ready to do what was necessary to rescue Carol from herself?
To Be Continued…
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