Oct 09 2007
Who Will You Finally Listen Too To Get Help?
Every alcoholic or problem drinker will have to pay the piper sooner or later. You simply can’t continue on a path of intense drinking without someone or something intervening that will have a dramatic and life altering influence on your life. Unfortunately because of the alcoholics self centered behavior they tend to learn the hard way that their life will be changing.
For many alcoholics this forced epiphany is when the judge revokes your right to drive from you because you were foolish enough to get behind the wheel when you were plastered. If this happens consider yourself lucky you only lost your driving privileges and didn’t take someone’s life or kill yourself. Many courts will rule that the alcoholic offender must seek treatment in rehab or take the pledge at A.A.
Being forced to quit drinking is not something many alcoholics take lightly and many do the time and fallback into their painful lifestyle when their obligation is finished. The smart ones take heed of the gravity of the situation they were in and learn from it. Taking the time to consider the anti social behavior that made them break the law and doing so in spite of so much media exposure on the perils of drinking and driving. Embarrassment and guilt can advance the process of change in an alcoholic and have proven to be motivating factors in some recoveries.
One raving alcoholic finally decided he needed to change when he was not available during a family emergency because he was in a black out. A lot of people where trying to locate this guy and he was unconscious and unable to answer his phone. Several people knocked repeatedly on his doors and windows believing he was inside but to no avail.
By the time he came to he was told that his father had been rushed to hospital with life threatening health issues and was in critical condition.
His younger brother was aware of his heavy drinking and he confronted him about it. Man to man he laid out the obvious facts to his older brother and shamed him into seeing his problem as selfish and self destructive. He told him flat out not to visit his father if he was going to show up drunk and embarrass himself and his dad.
He arrived sober and sick and upon seeing his father in such terrible shape he immediately phoned Alcoholics Anonymous to learn how they could help him. He began getting assistance and swore himself off of alcohol because he never wanted to be in a position where he was to drunk to help his family in a crisis situation. When the time came that his parents passed on he was able to be there for them and carry the burden stoically for the rest of his family.
When intoxicated a heavy drinker will say, think and do stupid things, that’s a given. Denial is their only hope of having another drink when uncomfortable questions and conversations begin to harass and hound them. Sometimes these confrontations originate at home from a spouse, at work by an employer or in the hospital where the alcoholic ends up because he drank so much internal bleeding occurs. An observant health professional will confront the alcoholic about their drinking and the damage their doing.
Perhaps this may be enough for the drinker to stop the abuse but it’s more likely the alcoholic will deny there is a problem and resume their now caustic drinking habit. Employers can play an important role in forcing treatment of an employee who has an obvious drinking problem. Many companies now have an employee assistance program where they can receive confidential support. Depending on the severity of the problem and what phase the excessive drinker is at with their demon this intervention by the employer may be enough to shame the alcoholic into sobriety.
There is a point in every drinker’s obsession with alcohol where the addiction hasn’t quite taken hold yet and the window for successful treatment is still open. The alcoholic’s rational abilities may be such that if the right encouragement or circumstances exist they will see their drinking for what it is and seek help.
The person with the most difficult challenge of convincing an alcoholic to get help is a spouse. Generally alcoholics can be quite argumentative or just non responsive when a husband or wife complains about their drinking. It is a losing situation because of the bond that exists and the complexities of the relationship. More often than not the situation will not change for the better and in fact could deteriorate to the point of separation or divorce without professional intervention.
It’s difficult for a non alcoholic to understand this type of seriously destructive drinking behavior. They fail to understand the acutely addictive nature of alcohol and how it effects the way the drunk thinks. They can’t be blamed for not understanding but they should get their own help so they can learn how to help themselves and perhaps even facilitate treatment for the alcoholic. The unfortunate truth is that unless an alcoholic is shocked into reality by some unforeseen occurrence, they may not listen to anyone. Fact is, all too many problem drinkers end up learning the hard way just how unforgiving that rock at the bottom really is.
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