Aug 30 2007
What Will It Take To Make You Stop Drinking?
Why do some people have such a hard time asking for help? When they are in trouble whether it be emotional, physical or even financial they seem to fight to try and hang on as long as possible. These folks that are willing to go down with the ship rather than ask for help are the personality types that make for suffering alcoholics.
They let foolish pride get in the way of getting the treatment they need. Fear also plays a role in the ability to ask for assistance. One recovering alcoholic knew 3 years before he finally quit drinking that he was in trouble. He refused to or just couldn’t say those 3 words that offered freedom from alcohol “I need help”.
When asked years later why he waited so long before seeking treatment he said there were a number of factors, one being he knew he had let people down with his excessive drinking, it was why he hid it from everyone. He feared the news of his alcoholism would kill his father or at least devastate him to the point of perhaps disowning him. He spent his entire life trying to make his father proud of him and now he would be admitting that he was a drunk? It was too much.
There was also fear of the unknown. He knew he had done damage to his body over the years and when anyone else passed blood the way he did they would seek medical attention. Not this guy. Instead he just ignored it and got on with things. Foolish alcoholic thinking that would contribute to a long and arduous recovery.
He had also tried to quit on his own in the past and realized how difficult it was to go through the drying out phase. Several times in the past he had to abstain from booze cold turkey for his job and the task of quitting was brutal. It was like suffering with flu symptoms only more severe and this was not something he looked forward to.
Probably the main reason for not asking for help was that as bad for him as the alcohol was he was also addicted to its end result which was to numb him from life’s turmoil in general and booze has an enormous grip on someone drinking in his league. The addiction itself was probably the number one reason why he could not ask for help. He would miss the feeling. The dependence he had on alcohol was a very tough habit to break.
Once someone crosses the line from social drinker to alcoholic drinking all reasonable thought goes out the window. You start withdrawing inward and listening to that little voice we all have, our conscience or moral watchdog? Whoever or whatever that voice is directing you now is also loaded and any ethics or scruples you may have had are ignored by this purveyor of alcoholic thought.
He is selling you on how fine it is to get behind the wheel of your car after a six pack and several shooters at the corner pub so you can get home. That it’s Ok to go to your kid’s basketball game and embarrass him in front of his peers even though the little whisperer in your head keeps telling you that you’re fine.
This is the kind alcoholic behavior that will either kill you or someone else because of your heavy consumption of booze, if there isn’t any conscience left to hold you back from doing ludicrous things. I won’t explain the chemical reaction of alcohol on the brain that makes this happen suffice to say when an alcoholic drinks heavily all sane thought takes a holiday.
It’s why a woman who appeared totally normal arrived with her two children, eleven and eight, at the airport and after checking her luggage and leaving her kids to their own devices, hunted down a bar for a quick drink before boarding. When she woke up she was on the floor of her family’s recreation room at home with half a case of beer gone along with 36 hours she couldn’t account for.
She was awakened by her husband who flew back from Florida looking for her after meeting his two kids who arrived alone at the airport. He ended up leaving them with family in Orlando and flew straight home. The kids couldn’t find their mother but knew enough to understand that there dad was waiting for them at the other end of the flight. Needless to say the husband was furious and this ended their marriage. Its one thing to risk your own life because of drinking but when the behavior puts others at risk it’s too much.
This lady waited years before getting the treatment she needed. Is this sane thinking? Is it any wonder when alcohol has such a grip on someone that they are willing to risk their lives and the lives of other’s? Why would someone not ask for help before leaving their kids at the airport and going on a binge that would ultimately break up her family? It isn’t that they can’t or don’t ask for help with their crisis. Part of the problem is the people around them can’t hear the continuous silent screams for help that emanate from most problem drinkers.
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